It would be wonderful to believe “And They Lived Happily Ever After‚” But in the real world that is just not the reality. When we are all dealing with shall we say flawed human beings‚which we all are‚ there are going to be at times conflicts.
When You Make A Mistake
There are going to be times when you will make a mistake‚ say something that hurts someone’s feelings‚ or do something they take offense by.. We then must make a decision how to deal with that in the most diplomatic way possible. Sometimes in my dealings with people I can be known to offend without knowing I did so.
The best way of course for someone to voice their concerns is to do it privately. I have had before those “a bit uncomfortable” sessions when someone wants to let me know how I hurt them.
I do my best to resolve that‚ and it doesn’t make you less of a leader to say you are sorry. I heard an awesome interview with Art Jonak and Orrin Woodard discussing these conflicts and how to deal with that. I recommend getting a hold of that by the way. (I receive no compensation for that‚ its just good!)
When Dealing With An Actual Attack
And I was a bit surprised lately to find there are those who would like to attack to take you down‚ because their own confidence is shaky. I attempted to talk directly with the accuser but they just attacked more. I decided in this case to chalk it up to experience.
One thing that never ever works‚ and makes you actually look worse is to retaliate. In fact that will actually play into their hands. If you continue in your own authentic way to give people your best‚ it will become obvious that the attack was just that‚ an attack.
Bringing Back The Peace
When there has been a conflict‚ whatever the cause‚ find ways to bring peace back quickly. The person May need some kind of compensation if their cause was justified. Or you May just have to give them a cooling off period. Again doesn’t that sound like parenting? It is a bit like that actually.
Taking extra moments to think through what you might say is critical. Never participate in gossip yourself even if you feel that you are justified‚ it never helps your cause‚ and makes you look‚ frankly‚ bad. Do everything you can to make the other person feel better about themselves‚ And be willing to suggest solutions. In the end‚ that is what we are is Problem Solvers!